life may not be a fairytale, but it sure is a movie.
Back when I was depressed and stuck in my head, I never cared much for movies or TV. Anything that required focus felt like work. Following a story? No thanks. I would rather doom-scroll and wonder why I hated my life.
But once I started seeing life with more light, I became obsessed with movies. My nightly ritual became making my Ka’Chava shake, lighting up, and turning on whatever free romance I could find. They weren’t just a way to escape my mind.
They were quietly teaching me something I hadn’t realized.
People will say life isn’t a movie or a fairytale to encourage realism.
But life? It’s anything but realistic.
What I love about movies is that there is never a right or wrong way for the main character to grow. Life, like film, is chaotically exciting. You never know what will happen, but lessons will always come. Obstacles, plot twists, realizations, heartbreaks: all part of the coming-of-age journey.
Our favorite characters are always full of potential. Their lives are easily romanticized. Ambient lighting, soft music, effortlessly chic. Even if everything is falling apart, they somehow still make it look cool. Anything feels possible. Real life has constraints, sure, but in movies, everything somehow works out, often not as intended, and that is the point.
Movies have also shown me that a successful life isn’t measured by money or a neat, linear path. Most characters experience lack, financially, emotionally, relationally, before things finally click. If you are insecure or feel behind, movies remind you that your current situation can always be romanticized. In fact, the rougher the patches, the greater the arc. The struggle makes the story richer, the payoff more satisfying.
Life, like film, rewards resilience, curiosity, and perspective.
Take Shameless, for example. It’s a TV show, but it perfectly illustrates what I mean. The series dives into poverty, survival, addiction, and all the darker sides of life. Yet it also highlights softness through themes of family and loyalty. No matter what Fiona faced that day, she stepped into her power and proved she was someone not to mess with. Fiona made the same struggles and hustle that so many of us experience look like an action movie you’d watch with popcorn in hand.
Once I realized that life is measured by the lessons that shape us through presence, rather than just the big moments, I started noticing the small details I had been ignoring in my own life. The way sunlight hits my kitchen in the morning, the random smiles from strangers, the quiet thrill of walking somewhere I have never been before. Movies taught me to see these moments as cinematic. To imagine the soundtrack playing, the soft focus around the edges, the sense that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this frame.
In both movies and life, we face twists that leave us picking up pieces of ourselves. We may be broke, heartbroken, or exhausted, but we keep it together, move forward, and somehow bring more to the table than we realized we had. The messy moments are part of the magic. They create tension, they create story, they create depth. Without them, there would be no arc, no growth, no sense of wow, I made it through that.
Thinking of movies as real life shows that life isn’t so scary. It’s imperfectly fun, never linear, and full of magic in quiet moments. Each coming-of-age film is practically a template for embracing your own story. And the best part? You do not need a director, a script, or a camera crew.
The story is already happening around you. You just have to notice it.
Movies were never meant to portray fairytales, and they don’t. They show life as it is: chaotic, beautiful, confusing, and always moving forward. And in doing so, they remind us that we are allowed to romanticize our own lives, to see the extraordinary in ordinary days, and to give ourselves the same grace we give our favorite characters.
You are the main character in your life, no less interesting than any of your favorite films. It’s up to you to embrace your own interesting. Life isn’t a fairytale. It’s better. It’s a movie, and you’re living it. The camera is rolling, the lights are on, and every scene, every mundane coffee run, every unexpected twist, is a frame in your personal epic.
So tonight, pour that cup of tea, light the candle, take the long walk, call the friend you have been meaning to, and imagine the soft music swelling as you step into your own story.
Because life is happening, the plot is yours, and it’s worth watching.
